Dad’s Guide to Life: To Live, You Have to Let Go of Who You Are
Let’s get right to the point of this message. To live, you have to completely let go of who you are. On Oct 22nd, 2005, I was 25 years old, I had created a self that was selfish, afraid, lost, alone, deceptive, and dishonest over the course of just a few years. I wronged just about everyone you could wrong in life. I was angry and lost at all the things happening in the world and in my life and I just lashed out at everybody. I distanced myself from family, girlfriends, friends, loved ones, and employers. I smothered opportunity with clingyness and contempt. That day, I found myself alone, no idea who I was, and no grip on who I wanted to be. I lost my bands, my friends, every girl I ever had or was dating at the time, I didn’t ask my family for emotional help, but asked for financial help, and never paid them back… I just got so lost, that I had no idea how I could ever find myself again.
On Oct 22nd, 2005, I went to sleep, expecting never to wake up ever again. I won’t go into how or why I expected that, but I did something that should have accomplished it. When I woke up on Oct 23rd, sick, violently sick, like a smack to the face, I understood that my life had purpose, I had importance to the world, and I was going to figure out what it was. I revisited a book called Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue, by Neale Donald Walsch, and I came across two words that changed everything. “LET GO”.
I dwelled on this for days. “Let Go” What does that mean? Eventually, over the course of a week or two, the message became clear. In order to CREATE myself to be whatever I wanted to be, I had to let go of everything I was, everything I had ever been, been taught, told, or otherwise, and just close my eyes, let go, and have faith. So, I forgave myself for the wrong doing, let go of my decisions, let go of the God i was taught existed, let go of the desire to always have a partner to make me happy, let go of hate, let go of pain, let go of the feeling of failure because I wasn’t what I wanted to be by now, I simply let go, and fell. I didn’t fall physically in reality, I fell figuratively speaking, and trusted that the world would catch me. The world did catch me eventually, and took me on a ride, let me tell you.
What is the purpose of letting go? It allowed me to clear my mind and my heart of chaos. It opened me up to hearing the universe. It made me available to feel things and begin to understand things that I hadn’t even considered, such as, I am not born into a world that I am separated from, I am born from it, and am part of it, as much as my eyes are part of my body, my entire being is part of the world, as much as the world is part of the solar system, as much as the solar system is part of the universe. When opened up to this information, you begin to see that you are made from the same star stuff that made the universe itself. You are LIFE. This fledgling understanding that was planted once my mind was open to accept such a thing, was so powerful. It meant, in simpler terms, that everything I strove to be, and let control my actions and thoughts, didn’t matter, and that my soul purpose, or purpose of the soul, was to LIVE, simply live, and let go of the forced outcomes, so that I was no longer disappointed by the outcome I needed to happen in order to find happiness. Therefore, if I didn’t have an outcome in mind, if I simply trusted that LIFE was going to bring me where I needed to go, and not worry about HOW it was going to get me there, I just had to TRUST, that I would be happy, because life is taking me to where I want to be, as long as I spent time on things I loved, the outcome would eventually show up one day, and I didn’t have to worry anymore.
Once I made the realization that being open to hearing my “inner voice” and trusting the process was all I needed to do, I was free, and a surge of desire filled me to just live and trust that life would bring me to where I was supposed to go. Suddenly I was open to new information. I was smiling more. I had a new perspective that allowed me to see that I was too busy looking at life through the eyes of everyone else’s perspective. I was living based on information fed to be by multiple religious sources, different political leaders and sources, teachers, mom and dad(no offense, you taught me what you were taught), doesn't matter who, what matters is I was living life through the eyes of everybody elses’ experience except my own.
Learn from that boys. You will be told and taught from me and your mother things that never seem to sit right with you, let go. If it doesn’t sit right, just let go and find your own truths on the subjects we fed you. You’ll eventually feel better about life.
Everything you’re doing, is leading you to where you want to go. So let go and simply have faith that it’ll take you there. I keep mentioning this book, Converstions with God by Neale Donald Walsch. That’s the type of moment I am talking about here. Life lead me to absolute turmoil to tell me I wasn’t on the right path, then when I had felt so far gone that I didn’t want to be in reality anymore, a girl game into my life for barely a couple of weeks, and she handed me that book, and it changed my entire life. So trust the process, ESPECIALLY when things aren’t going your way. You need to know life is hard. VERY HARD. But the LAST thing you want to do is give up. Those are the times you need to harden up, let go, and put more trust in the process that everything will get better eventually, and that life is leading you there. Don’t worry about how. Just go with it and you will get there. My life may not be perfect, but I am 1000x better then I ever was before. Look where it lead me! I have you! I always wanted kids. When it turned out to be you, my dream to have kids was more satisfying then I could have ever imagined! Now I just need to trust the universe and follow my path, make my videos, and tell my truth without fear of judgement or outcomes, because life will pave the way to wherever I am going.
It was in that moment of letting go, that I decided consciously to destroy everything, in order to rebuild myself from scratch.
Let go. TRULY LIVE FREE.
Free of worry. Free of fear. Free of hate. Free of confinement. Free of “sides”. FREE to LIVE.
