Dad’s Guide to Life: 20 Things I Know Now That I Wish I Knew Then

Every dad has a story to tell boys. And in the very book, there are a lot of stories I would have shared that hold some kind of lesson there for you. Had I known then what I know now, life would have been a bit easier. But you know what? Id rather have learned it all later, because an easy life, probably would have been pretty boring anyways. Life is moving and changing constantly, and it’s your job to maneuver in a way that you can succeed, based on your definition of that success. As you can plainly tell, life for me was challenging. That’s okay. That challenge left me with some of the most important lessons a person can get. So today, nothing elaborate, nothing too risky, no crazy stories, just 20 things I wish I knew then that I know now.

1. Money can never solve REAL problems.

Money is nice to have. But in the realm of real life, money won’t fix the real issues that come up in everyday life. Money won’t fix a relationship that didn’t work out because you didn’t communicate with your partner or you were too busy working to be intimate. Money can’t solve old age, you may be able to purchase a young life style for a little while, but ultimately, the stuff that comes with aging, well, its coming no matter what, so embrace it. Money can’t stop bad things from happening. Death will come, natural disasters will happen, and bad stuff will just happen, no matter how much money you throw at it. Money can’t fix anxiety, or sadness, or depression. Money can’t buy health. It surely can buy the tools you need to get healthy, but it can’t buy health itself. You get the point. Moving on…

2. Pace Yourself, Let your Life Unfold

We’re always on the move aren’t we? When we were growing up, the summers lasted a lifetime, we couldn’t wait to be able to sit in the front seat of the car, we couldn’t wait to get a licence to drive a car, we couldn’t wait to go to college, get married, have kids…then we got there, and all we want to do now is turn back the clock and do it all over again, so we try to do it slower. Slow down. Don’t always be in such a rush. Let your life unfold. Let life play out for a little while, and weigh your options as things start to unfold. Give it all time. Enjoy the process while the process is working. If you want that job you always wanted, go interview, then give it a week to see if they call you, then give em a call, if they’re still interviewing, give them two weeks this time, then call back. Don’t call back every day seeing if they’re going to hire you. You want to seem interested, not desperate. Let life move itself in the direction it needs to go so that the right outcome arrives when it supposed to.

3. Value Health

Eat right. Lay off the sugars and fatty foods. Don’t smoke. Don’t drink(*too much*) Exercise. This is short and sweet, LIFE IS FINITE. Your body is the only one you have. If you damage it beyond repair, it’ll be too late to fix it.

4. You’re not always going to get what you want

Life isn’t fair. Life is meant to be hard or it would be meaningless. You got to work for what you want, and sometimes you wont get what you want. Keep moving forward, and go after the next thing. Im a living example of that. I wanted to be a musician, I wanted to play pro sports, I wanted to be a movie director, I wanted to do alot of things, and some of that stuff just didn’t work out, so I paced myself, let life play out, and here I am, blogging and vlogging on youtube just to create content. There is always going to be another door to walk through, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS.

5. Be True to Yourself

Do not get sucked into what other people want you to be. The more you do that, the more personalities you have to create in order to keep up with all the people you know. Then suddenly, everything about you is FAKE. Be TRUE to your truth, who you are, how you feel, what you’re doing, and what you’re trying to accomplish. Be yourself, no matter what.

6. Walk Your Path

This is just another way to say mind your business. Everyone has their own struggles, their own path to walk. Don’t judge another because you have NO IDEA what they’re going through in their life. They may have lost someone, or someone broke up with them, or they’re struggling to pay for their house…you don’t know what it’s like in someone else’s shoes, so walk your path, in your own shoes, and be kind, because you don’t understand what someone else is dealing with.

7. Take Action(Don’t Wait)

Never wait. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. If you like someone, go talk to them. Get to know them. Ask them out for coffee or lunch. If you want to build a thing, build it, or make steps in order to begin building it immediately. If you want to build a business, build the business. If you want to build a brand, build the brand. If you want hug someone, hug them. If you want to tell someone something, tell them. Tomorrow is too late because eventually, tomorrow won’t come.

8.Only you can create the life you want

No one is ever going to care about your goals as much as you do. YOU HAVE THE POWER to create your life, and if you’re strong enough, you WILL DO IT.

9. Develop Good Habits

This is important. Make your bed. Tie your shoes. Have a schedule. Keep your room clean. Hang up your coat. Clean as you go. Good habits lead to good environments.

10. Be Thankful for the journey

Be thankful. Everything about life is a wondrous gift. The chances of being here as part of this world is 1 in 400 trillion. Everything in the universe had to happen precisely as it did in order for you to be here. If it had happened just ever so slightly differently, none of us would exist. Be Thankful.

11. Be patient

If I had a dollar every time I ran out of patience, I would not be trying to maximize my revenue stream right now at 41 years old. Be Patient, with everything. You can never understand fully what is truly going on, until you are calm, collected, and paying attention. So be patient and listen carefully and you will make the strongest choices.

12. Choose Kindness

Every choice you will ever make will be loving, or fearful. There are no other choices. Kindness is love, hatred is fearful. Choose kindness. Be kind with people who disagree, with your enemies, with your friends, with your family. Hate creates stress, and stress will kill you.

13. Never Ever Ever Ever Give up. Keep trying.

If I knew that I wasn’t supposed to stop trying… To me, failure was always not getting to the goal. What I didn’t realize was failure was not trying, or quitting. And I quit a few times to know I failed at something I could have been awesome at. Never quit. Never surrender if you want something. Failure is just more knowledge.

14. Failure is knowledge.

As I said, failure is knowledge. I will tell a quick story here. I watched you playing one day when you were four years old, it was 2020, during the COVID19 pandemic. You were trying to get a plastic baseball into the holes in the side of the swing set. You stood on your sand box, threw the ball, and if you hit something and missed, you would aim either higher or lower, depending on what hole you wanted to throw the ball in. You were learning from your mistakes and failures, and taking the information of throwing too low, and adjusting the throw the best you could, until you succeeded. And once you succeeded, you couldn't miss! Failure is knowledge. Miss high, throw low. Miss low, throw high. This applies to EVERYTHING in life.

15. It’s okay to not be okay

Don’t ever feel bad for feeling bad. Everybody needs time to be alone and feel bad. Figure out what it is you’re feeling, take the time to heal, then get up, dust off, and keep moving forward.

16. Stay Curious — Never stop Learning

Sometimes I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle. In my profession, I don’t read a lot. Sometimes I feel like my brain is struggling to remember things. Always keep learning. It goes back to health. Strong muscles take exercise and healthy eating. A strong brain takes exercise and healthy eating, but can brains do push ups? No. You got to READ AND LEARN constantly, or you’ll become a mindless drone of the establishment. You need to be able to THINK for yourself!

17. Stand by your truth

If you feel your truth is who you are. Deep down it feels right, stand by your convictions, and remain calm. It is your truth, and you’re right to argue it. Don’t ever let anyone try to keep you from your own truth. Your life is not theirs to live. Its yours.

18. SILENCE IS POWERFUL

This is a very important lesson that, I, a chef, yes, a chef, can tell you is true. Sometimes when you need to get your point across, and repeating it is just not helping, a long silent stare is everything. As a chef, I scared more of my employees by being silent, then by yelling at them. Silence is powerful. Use it wisely.

19. Don’t compare yourself to others

There is always going to be someone richer, better looking, better at your thing, working harder, kissing more ass, and doing things better than you can possibly imagine. To compare yourself to them is only going to set you up to feel bad, and give up. What is giving up? TRUE FAILURE. It’ll stop you from trying. So don’t compare yourself to anyone other than the you of yesterday, so you can do better tomorrow. Always try. There is always going to be somebody around to try to knock you down, or someone who is going to do it better, so try anyway, until you succeed.

20. Don’t sweat the small stuff, mostly everything is small stuff

Everything in life is made up of the small stuff. Jealousy, somebody got mad at you for burning the toast, or you didn’t quite meet their expectations with cleaning the dishes, the list goes on and on. Someone is always going to be disappointed because they all have expectations. Don’t panic about the little things in life, those are the things that happen today, but are gone when the sun rises with a new day. Lot’s of stuff is small stuff.

There we have it. 20 things I wish I knew now. We will do another one, because I have a list of over 100 things I wish I knew that continues to grow with each passing day…

BONUS!!!

21. Never stop learning and developing you.

Have a great day boys.

And if you’re reading this and not my sons, which is all of you, because even my sons are too little to read this…

Thank you. I hope my lessons reach you if they need to reach you.

If you want to chat, email me at dadguidetolife@gmail.com or jaysguidetolife@gmail.com